I wrote this book because I know firsthand how easy it is to use the breakdown of a relationship as an excuse to blame, to shut down, and to contract rather than to grow. I also know that our pain always has a purpose, which becomes clear once we’re willing to see our ex-partner as a teacher rather than an enemy. This book will take you by the hand, guide through an inner and outer revolution, and show you how to use your heartache as a CATALYST to reinvent yourself, recreate your life, and become the person you have always wanted to be.
Could the end of your marriage be the first step toward reclaiming your personal power and joyfully living the life of your dreams? If the answer is yes, this book is for you. Divorce rocks the very foundation of our beings, leaving us feeling lonely, flawed, enraged, undesirable, hopeless and empty. In Spiritual Divorce, New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford reveals how this devastation can be transformed into a profoundly enlightening experience. This empowering guide sows how the collapse of a marriage is, at root, a spiritual wake-up call, an opportunity to liberate ourselves and reclaim our lives. The end of a relationship -- no matter who ends it -- is a damaging moment. Ford offers a clear program for turning ruin into renewal.
Why I Wrote This Book
After a year of being married, I woke up and came to the bone-chilling realization that my marriage wasn’t going to work out. Even though I wasn’t married long, I had waited until I was 38 years old to marry because I wanted to make sure that I made the right choice, that I married the perfect husband who could support me in creating the perfect family. My divorce wasn’t just the death of a relationship, it was the death of a dream I had held since I was a little girl. I was completely devastated. I had a son that was less than a year old. I was living in a town I had just moved to. I didn’t know what I would do or how I would be able to have my son not suffer the same pain that I had suffered as a child when my parents got divorced.
In the midst of this devastation, frustrated and alone, I went to the beach near my house to meditate and to ask why this was happening. I heard a wise voice from my soul telling me that I was to write a book called Spiritual Divorce. I can tell you, at that moment, I wanted to write a lot of books, but Spiritual Divorce wasn’t one of them. There was nothing to me spiritual about what I was going through. After that day, that voice showed up again, again and again inside of me. It was that inner knowing that led me to begin to dwell in the conversation of spiritual divorce. At first, it seemed like an oxymoron to me. Divorce meant pain, people being hurt, families being broken, fighting over money, property and custody. It meant failure, loneliness, hurt and devastation. It meant so many things.
How could it be spiritual? Then one day when I was in the midst of a fit of rage about something that I perceived was happening due to my then ex-husband’s behavior, my sister Arielle showed up at the perfect time (as always), listened to me with just a bit of compassion and then took a powerful and courageous stand. She leaned over, looked me in the eyes and asked me if I knew five people who were divorced that were still angry, resigned or depressed five years later? I laughed. That was easy! I knew so many people. Then she looked at me again and asked, ‘Debbie, do you want to turn out like that?’ For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. I had to gasp for air. I knew she was charging me with, what she was telling me. I was either going to figure out how to get through this or I was going to wind up another brokenhearted victim of divorce. That was the pivotal point when I began the life-enhancing, heart-opening exploration of how I could use my divorce as a spiritual experience and a catalyst for having an amazing life.
A year later, when I began to write my first book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, I realized that there was no way I would have or could have written this book if I hadn’t been alone and in need of creating a career and a life outside of who I was going to be as a married woman. It took me some time and a lot of work to heal my heart and to find the blessings and the true wedding gifts of my relationship and then my divorce. I was fully back in the presence of my own magnificence, the perfection of my breakup and the gratitude for my ex-husband. After quite a bit of nudging from the outer world, I finally surrendered. One summer evening after writing so many things that didn’t seem to have any heart in them, the seven spiritual laws of Spiritual Divorce came through me. They’ve never been changed. They’ve never been edited. They were perfect as they were and thus the birth of the most important work I’ve ever written: Spiritual Divorce. I can promise that anyone who does the work of Spiritual Divorce will heal their own hearts, the hearts of their children and their family and be ready to receive more love than they ever thought possible for themselves.
“Recommended reading for all divorcing couples…”
- Publishers Weekly
“A very special book…a catalyst that will help you to heal yourself and find the courage to love again”
- Cheryl Richardson, author of Take Time for Your Life
“This book is like a balm for the broken heart of those who divorce. Debbie Ford takes an experience of devastating emotional impact and shows how to turn it into a blessing. Ford delivers…on every page.”
- Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love
“An empowering book that anyone going through divorce must read!”
- Judith Orloff, M.D., author of Dr. Judith Orloff’s Guide to Intuitive Healing and Second Sight
“Debbie Ford guides the reader on an essential journey from loss and despair to emotional wholeness and spiritual transformation.”
- Deepak Chopra, author of How to Know God